Mind Over Matter
by Mindhack
Summary: Mind was an ordinary guy, more than willing to live an ordinary life in his small hometown. But when a mysterious Absol senses doom on the horizon, he is whisked away on a mission to gather a team that can stop it.
1. Infodump

**Author's note: A warning before we begin: as you likely could tell from the M rating, this is going to get more lemony as it goes on, so if you are under 18 or don't enjoy intimate human-to-Pokemon relations, don't read. Thank you.**

Mind never had much of an interest in Pokemon battling. As you can imagine, this caused him a large amount of trouble. People who don't battle are generally seen as lazy, unsociable animal haters, and that's if you can convince them it's not a moral objection. If they assume they know your opinions better than you, then they enter one of their two most annoying states: insulting, or backhandedly nice. But Mind knew he was none of these things. Unsociable, maybe, but that's a symptom of people's intolerance, not a justification. He had a female Zorua he got for Christmas on his senior year of high school he loved very much, and he worked very hard at his job as one of the non-battling positions at the Icirrus City Gym, the only job available to non-trainers of his age for obvious, propaganda-related reasons. No, as his nickname suggests, Mind objected due to a larger disinterest in violent sport. Something requiring technique, like tennis, sure, but he had no use for the likes of...

_No, that's not right. _Mind thought to himself. _I enjoy watching football, which involves both violence and Pokemon. Try again. _He commanded of himself.

… It all went back to a childhood trauma. He was playing in the park with his dad's Glaceon and having a blast, when Pidove started to invade. It started small, only one or two, but without warning, there were hundreds of them, making a cacophony with their song, piercing his soul with their beady eyes. It was a scene directly out of a horror movie, and even the normally brave Glaceon was freaked out.

_And then I yelled 'BOO!' and they all flew away scared. I doubt that gave me a lasting fear of Pokemon. Try again. _Mind thought.

… But deep down it was a moral objection after all. He wasn't about to join Team Plasma anytime soon, but he felt the joy of caring for his Zorua, and then saw other people intentionally putting their Pokemon in harm's way...

_Damn it! _Mind nearly tore out his hair in frustration. _I've lived for 20 years, you would think I had either learned to love battles or know why I don't! Try again._

The sad fact was, he never got much experience battling. When he was in kindergarten, he was supposed to get his first battles, but the other kids...

Suddenly, Zorua perked her ears up. "Hey, do you hear that noise?" She asked. Indeed, there was a faint scratching at the front door. They both got up from the couch to investigate. When Mind looked through the window on his front door, he saw the one Pokemon you never want to see. The Harbinger of Doom, the Angel of Death, a hell forged demon who kills everyone it meets.

It was an Absol.


	2. Refusal of the Call

Mind opened the door. Absol started on a predictable rant about how the world is in danger. With each sentence, Mind had more reason to not believe her. He could point out how, in reality, the world is rarely in danger, there isn't a chosen one to stop it, and even if there was, the chances of it being his mediocre ass is literally one in billions. She even addressed the last one, but this only caused problems: if the ability to understand Pokemon's speech was so rare, battles and professional sports as we know them wouldn't exist, right? And if he were younger, he would have pointed all of this out. But back then, he was in high school and, at least compered to this drivel, he had sane friends, sane plans, even sane enemies. Back then, he wasn't _bored._

"...Ok, I'm in." Mind responded when she finished.

"WHAT!?" Zorua responded in anger and more anger. "I mean, that 'This is reality, stop trying to create a narrative' crap is just an excuse for you to slack off, but if you're going to be a killjoy, at least be a consistent one!"

"Well, this does sound like one of your fantastic journeys, but you know..." Mind searched for a logical reason for this purely emotional decision. "... or rather, you don't know. You can never know. I mean, not never, but how can we gather enough evidence to prove her wrong if we don't even look where she's pointing?"

"And what sort of stupid name for a group is 'The BEC', anyway?" Zorua added.

"I know they don't sound threatening, but they are!" Absol admitted, having lost no sense of urgency. "It is even an acronym for something weird. Boise? Boze? I can't remember what the first letter stands for, the other two are 'Einstein Condensate'? I think?"

"Let me guess," Mind responded. "they think they're the opposite of Team Plasma. And I further assume that this strong belief that they are the opposite is exactly what makes them nearly identical?"

"So you _have_ heard of them!" The Absol exclaimed.

"No, but plasma is the highest-energy form of matter, and Bose–Einstein condensates are near absolute zero. Also, criminal organizations have a tenancy to become the sort of monster they fight in the sort of fantasy land where your story makes sense. I'll think of an appropriate quantum physics pun later, but let's go get my first gym badge while we wait."


	3. Meaningful Name

Zorua, Mind, and Absol arrived at the Icirrus Gym. "Well, if you guys are going to be on my team, you're going to need nicknames. Let's start with you, Zorua." Mind said.

"Ranma!" Zorua replied enthusiastically "Ranmaranmaramnaranmaranma! Ranma!"

"I guess we did already agree on that. How about you, Absol?"

"Nostradamus." Ranma suggested spitefully.

"I get the sentiment, but that's a guy's name." Mind replied

"Right, I forgot humans have, like, gender issues. That's annoying."

" 'Cassandra' is too obvious..." Mind thought aloud. "... I'm trying to think of famous female mediums. Circe? One of the witches in Macbeth? "

"I don't even think Circe ever predicted the future..." Ranma corrected.

"I like Cassandra." Absol offered.

"... Wait! I got it!" Mind said. "It has the same fraud implications as Nostradamus, but it's a woman's name: Sylvia!" Absol was visibly confused by this.

"Sylvia _Brown._" Ranma clarified.

"Oh. Ok. I'll take your word on that."

"You came _so close!_ You _almost_ looked smart, but then you just _had_ to make a dated..."

"Shut up, Ranma." Mind interrupted. The trio entered the gym. The inside of the gym would be very predictable, even if it was the first time that Mind had entered. However, the behavior of the trainers within was only obvious in hindsight. Mind made all sorts of eye contact with all of them, but as long a Sylvia was by his side, no one was brave enough for a battle. Mind made it to Brycen unhindered.

"Hello, Mind! What a pleasant surprise! You aren't scheduled for work today." Brycen said

"We aren't here as employees!" Ranma shouted with enthusiasm that threatened to melt the ice. "We're here as CHALLENGERS!"

"You mean you finally chose a starter and got your Trainer Card? That's excellent news!" Brycen replied

"Oh right..." Mind realized. "...I still have to do more paperwork before I can legally win a badge. I forgot..." They left the gym dissapointed.


	4. Mood Whiplash

Her eyes were gorgeous. Her eyes shone bright with an unearthly and alluring red glow. Her eyes sparkled with the brilliance of a million stars and with more vivid color than even the purplest prose, but I'll try anyway. Her eyes alone would have been a muse to many generations of artist, and her confidence suggested they already have been, but her eyes were not alone in beauty. She was at the perfect intersection of youth and experience, eagerness and caution, and indeed, the best of any two worlds I could think of. Her entire body was covered with luxuriously soft fur and her tails flew behind her like an expensive dress, but one well worth the cost. Her four dainty legs hid surprisingly firm muscles, perfect for running, fighting, or...

"ROBERT! RAYMOND! OBERLIES!" Ranma yelled at Mind, for that was his real name. With a sudden start, I removed his hands from the Ninetales's back and inner thigh. I... I? Rob, focus! Third-person narration! That way, emotion doesn't interfere with your decisions!***Mind*** finally came to ***his*** senses.

"Well, to be fair, if he fell for someone as _modestly_ attractive as myself so quickly..." the Ninetales said in a tone that made 'modestly' and 'amazingly' synonyms "you weren't going to get fidelity out of him anyway."

"Wha...oh no, you misunderstand. I'm not his girlfriend." Ranma clarified.

"Oh pu-_leeze_! I wasn't born this century! I've heard a thousand jealous girlfriends make... to be honest, ten or so excuses. I've heard it all, and I could just see it in your eyes: of course you aren't. I already knew that."

"I ALREADY TOLD... wait, what?" Ranma defended.

"It's unrequited, isn't it." Ranma carried the "…" face you sometimes see in Dating Sims when this question is asked.

"Ok, ok... um... before this gets too awkward..." I interrupted "I... I mean... with am... so... when are we?"

"We're in the forest outside Unova Route 8." Absol helpfully answered.

"Look, I know I fumbled the words around it, but I meant what I said. I already knew _where _we are. Is it really night already?"

"Yes." Ranma's words were blunt, but her eyes were piercing. "Your short search for a flying Pokemon turned long when you saw 'something interesting'. I should have guessed that was a euphemism for 'ass'."

...fucking. Those muscles would be perfect during fu"THAT WASN'T AN EXCUSE TO STARE AT HER ASS!" Ranma shouted even louder than before. There was an awkward silence, but this time I couldn't interrupt it. Because I'm a coward, and a pervert, and an asshole, and I was stupid to think that any of this adventure would work! Third-person Rob, keep your distance... how about if I say "Calm your tits."? Tits is a funny word. Will that make you feel better? Or will you spiral into depression and not get any sleep. The latter, because you're an idiot? Ok, sounds good to me!

"Rob..." Ranma apologized. "I just can't resist bait, apparently."

"Well, that we have in common." Mind replied. "I think everyone is good at avoiding temptation until it exists."

"So... am I still on the team?" Ninetales asked. The look in her eyes... she didn't exactly look worried or sad. In fact, common sense would tell you her absolute belief that the answer will be yes would only make a bad situation worse. And yet, for reasons that Mind couldn't pin, her look said "Don't worry, my plan benefits you too."

Mind thought carefully on how to respond without pissing anyone off. "That depends on your strength. Let me pull out my Pokepedia app." He did not misspeak: a proper Pokedex, app or standalone device, is for researchers only, but the rip-off Pokepedia is only $0.99 on the app store, and is just _barely _worth that price if you don't count unintentional humor. Really, it had more in common with a Youtube comment section than an encyclopedia, although through modern technology, you can take a picture of a Pokemon, scan it in, and get it's species and stats with a margin of error of 1 point ("Moveset coming soon!"-posted 5 years ago). Indeed, the people posting to the Ninetales "article" were firmly split into two groups: the "i own one and have millions of sexes with it!1 I especially like it when [insert sex act impossible for a quadruped]!1" group and the baseless fear group, spreading rumors involving 1000-year curses, demonic origins, murder, creepypasta, and most ridiculous of all, mind control eye beams.

"Welcome to the team." Mind said without even checking her stats. "So, what nickname do you want?"


End file.
